Mary Jane, You Ignorant Slut!

July 9, 2012 at 10:57 pm

In my review of The Amazing Spider-man, I mentioned how I didn’t like Sam Raimi’s version of Mary Jane (MJ) Watson.  In the past week, I’ve watched Spider-man, Spider-man 2 and most of Spider-man 3 (I turned it off after Spidey blows up Harry Osborn and before his song and dance number).  Through the course of just the first movie, I realized that I didn’t like MJ and felt that Peter could do much better, and after each additional movie my dislike grew.

In Spider-man, we first see MJ on the bus sitting next to Flash Thompson (she dates the school bully).  Yes, she does defend Peter a little, but not much.  She lets him take her picture on the field trip, but it appeared that had more to do with getting her picture in the school paper than anything to do with Peter.  Then we find out that she lives right next door to Peter and has for over 10 years!  They talk when Peter’s taking out the trash, but she ditches him when her boyfriend pulls up in a new car (MJ is very excited by this).  She breaks up with the jerk after graduation for no discernible reason, but then dates Peter’s best friend Harry (who is very wealthy).  While dating Harry, she gets the hots for Spidey and shares a passionate kiss while he is inverted (important later).  She breaks up with Harry only after Norman belittles her and then can’t decide between Spidey and Peter until the movie’s end where she confesses true love for Peter which he denies because he doesn’t want to endanger her.

Then we come to Spider-man 2:

MJ has a successful acting career (good for her) and is dating astronaut John Jamison, son of Daily Bugle editor, J. Jonah Jamison.  She tells Peter that she’s writing him off as a friend since he can’t make it to one of her performances (admittedly, it seems like Peter’s missed numerous opportunities).  Next thing you know, she’s agreed to marry the guy (but won’t invite Peter to the wedding).  Peter tries to change her mind, but to no avail.  Then once he gets his head on straight and knows what he wants to do with his life, she meets him for coffee and tries to make him admit that he loves her – even though she’s engaged to another man (what the hell did John Jamison do to earn himself this kind of crappy karma?).  After the final confrontation with Doc Ock, MJ learns the truth about Peter/Spidey and Peter explains to her that he won’t be with her because it is too risky.  Then her FIANCE shows up, worried sick about her.  Does she tell him that she’s having second thoughts?  Hell no, she waits to dump the guy at the alter – in writing! – by having her bridesmaid deliver a note, not even bothering to dump the guy in person!  Sure, Peter gets her at the end of the movie, but why would he want her?

Spider-man 3:

A lot can be said about this movie.  It wasn’t a total disaster.  Much of the first 1/2 – 2/3 of the movie is great fun.  But this post isn’t a review of Spider-man 3, it’s about what a horrible person is Mary Jane Watson (as presented by Raimi).

When the movie starts, everything is going great for both Peter and MJ.  NYC loves Spider-man and MJ has a lead role in a musical (it takes 3 movies before we find out that she sings?).  She gets horrible reviews for her singing and optimistic Peter tries unsuccessfully to cheer her up.  Now to be honest, this scene was very realistic.  Any married man knows that when his wife is upset, he should just nod and KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT!  He can’t solve her problems and she’ll resent him if he tries.  Which Peter tries and MJ does.

Then MJ gets fired from the show in a cold brutal fashion, but doesn’t tell Peter because it’s Spider-man’s big day (good for her).  But during the public recognition ceremony, he allows the presenter, Gwen Stacy, to kiss him while he’s inverted (like MJ kissed Spidey in the first movie as noted above).  MJ is furious that Peter shared THEIR KISS with another woman, though from Peter’s reaction he never realized the importance of the inverted kiss in their relationship (and there were no scenes in any of the movies where she tells him so prior to this).  Peter plans to propose to MJ, but she arrives at dinner clearly upset and things go downhill from there (understandably, MJ is not to blame here).

Yet, what does she do next?  She goes to visit her rich old boyfriend Harry.  He tries to cheer her up … they dance … and she kisses him.  WHAT THE HELL?  In the last movie, she loved Peter so much that she left a famous astronaut standing at the alter and after losing one lousy job, she’s making out with Peter’s best friend!

Well, Harry gets his memory back and decides to take another shot at Spidey, so he ambushes MJ at her apartment and threatens her so that she’ll do what he wants.  And that is?  Break up with Peter and lie to him that she’s in love with another man.  Uh, what?  Your boyfriend is Spider-man, yet you allow some jerk ex-boyfriend to blackmail you into dumping him?  ARE YOU NUTS?

 

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Movie Review: The Amazing Spider-man (4+ of 5) Why I Do Not Respect Your Authority


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